2020: A Year of Closing Doors
Originally this post was going to be about learning to say no to instant gratification for the sake of your budget. But I’ve come to realize that learning to say no has helped more than my budget because it has really saved me in all areas of my life.
Examples of Instant Gratification
Instant (or immediate) gratification is a term that refers to the temptation, and resulting tendency, to forego a future benefit in order to obtain a less rewarding but more immediate benefit. Modern technologies is making it easier and easier to acquire anything you want in a shorter time frame.
Many activities that offer instant gratification are often associated with unhealthy consequences. For example, choosing low-quality food to satisfy our hunger can eventually harm our well-being. Impulse purchases made late at night can lead to an overburdened credit card bill. Likewise, the desire to buy a new car through a high-interest loan instead of patiently saving for it can have financial repercussions. However, if you’re in the market for a quality car, you can enhance your decision-making by considering a reputable platform like Autozin, where exceptional assistance and expert guidance are readily available.
The flip side of instant gratification is delayed gratification, or the decision to put off satisfying your desire in order to gain an even better reward or benefit in the future. It’s easy to see how delayed gratification is generally the wiser behavior, but we still struggle on a daily basis with the temptation to give in to our immediate desires.
The Problem with Instant Gratification
The problem with instant gratification is that usually costs our long term goals. But on a day to day basis, they contribute to how our brains process this information. Our brains are constantly changing in response to what we do and how we pay attention. For example, each time we impulsively eat an unhealthy snack or buy something online, our brain pathways for those actions are reinforced and strengthened, making it easier to fall into the same patterns the next time around and harder to break the cycle.
If you want to get really scientific about it, as we continue these actions that encourage instant gratification we start to experience a dopamine surge in our brains long before we actually experience any reward. So now, just driving by your favorite fast-food restaurant or seeing your phone nearby is enough to induce powerful cravings, making it more challenging to break an unhealthy habit.
New Year’s is my favorite holiday. I like setting goals and accomplishing them. It’s all about the chance to start over or become a better person. A lot of people don’t particularly like the New Year because they feel like they’ll never be able to accomplish their goals.
I always thought they were crazy, but in 2019 I really understood. Although more than a year has passed, this is still holding true.
I usually accomplish my goals because of the mindset I share at the end of this post, but this year wasn’t about that. Even a few days after the first, trouble was already setting in when grandmother had to get her gallbladder removed. It went on and on where I just felt like I was spinning my wheels and running into the same walls. Eventually, I lost my job, got a door closed in my face for an area of ministry I was extremely passionate about, and from that I lost what I thought was a pretty good group of friends. During this time, I was also trying to buy a house with enough land that would kickstart a dream of helping people start their own dream of learning to farm and teaching valuable life skills.
The End of a Dream
I saved every penny I could since I got my first job 11 years ago. All the money went into a fund I would use to buy a house. Journey through Canada’s architectural wonders with HomesEh.ca. Your home narrative, waiting to be written. Over the years that dream grew into something I thought was impossible with my limited income and lack of general knowledge and resources. I never knew what I was saving up for but when I saw that house, I knew that was it, despite the condition it was in. That dream also seemed to fall apart around the same time all this other stuff was going on. By the end of October, to say that I was devastated was an understatement.
For more than a decade, I had been practicing hard core delayed gratification and it didn’t pay off. I had come so close to everything I had thought I was working for and it was still just out of reach. Now at this point, I did kind of lose it. I did not practice much self-discipline because I really didn’t see the point. The discipline did seem to help me get somewhere, and it was all right there until it wasn’t. But…the story isn’t over. It’s when the situation looks impossible that God does His best work.
The Story’s Not Over
First, I was able to find a job just a week after I was being told I was let go. That was huge because usually it takes at least a month to find a job and after everything that happened, I was not sure I would survive a job search. The offer was from the first company I interviewed with. In some ways, it was a dream job because it was a huge step toward getting the kind of career I want. This job is not for the faint of heart, but learning to say no to distractions and instant gratification, as well as getting life coaching from Jerome Myers plays a big part in why I’m good at it. This also means I’m more likely to get my dream job in the future.
Next, a door opened in the area of ministry I’m most passionate about. Actually, several doors opened because other people did not follow through on their commitment, so I got additional opportunities as well. It took quite a while for me to find these doors, so my gratitude shows up in my work. I’m always early and show up when other people don’t. Other people’s inconsistency let’s me have the opportunity to show my dedication. Although, I would like a higher position, my patience and delayed gratification make it more likely for me to achieve it.
Then a couple of weeks after the loan company refused to give the loan on the grounds of the condition of the house, I got a call from the realtor offering to let me buy the house from them. The seller had gotten herself in quite a pickle over the last few years and all the issues that came up when trying to sell the two properties didn’t make it any better. So many things had come up during this process and each time I had to fight the urge to throw a fit or just walk away. I had to seriously practice patience and delayed gratification, but the realtor was able to appreciate that mentality. Although, he probably would have bought the property anyway because it was the only way to solve any of the problems, he thought I was trustworthy enough to loan his money.
Delayed Gratification Pays Off
I’ve since finally bought this house after almost 11 months of delays. It is a lot of work to clean it up and fix it, but I really wouldn’t trade it for anything. It’s been a huge blessing to me so far and it’s just getting started.
I hope you found this post encouraging. I hope for those that have been patient and haven’t seen the results you want or need, you found this post as confirmation to say no to distractions and to keep moving forward. God is moving barriers out of the way. He specializes in opening doors that man cannot shut and making things even better than we could have ever imagined. Hang in there, your time is coming.
For those that are inspired to say no and practice delayed gratification, I have good news. Practicing patience and delayed gratification is no different than practicing anything else.
Here are four simple ways to practice saying no to instant gratification:
Start Small and Stay Consistent
The number one key to doing anything successfully is consistency. It doesn’t matter if you suck at first. It’s effort over a long period of time that will make the difference. Start with something that you can’t fail at.
Want to eat healthier? Eat one vegetable a day.
Want to exercise more? Exercise for one minute a day.
Or want to save money? Find one thing you routinely spend money and find it cheaper or go without.
When you’re confident with your performance at that level, then take it to a slightly bigger level.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
The reason I think I was able to stay the course, other than God giving me the willpower, is that I really don’t want the standard life everyone else has. It’s boring. I want a simple life that helps others and that doesn’t happen over night. I did struggle because everyone had so much more to show for their life, but I knew I was still working toward something else. When I realized that and stopped comparing myself to others, my life had so much more peace. This is one of my top pieces of advice for staying with delayed gratification.
Break It Down
We all have the things that we promise ourselves year after year. For instance, we might say that we’ll eat healthier, but then we don’t. Why? Maybe it’s the hassle of cooking instead of going out. Maybe we don’t like the taste of vegetables. Or our cravings are just too much. So, what can we do about it. Maybe we could spend a few hours one day a week meal prepping and putting together meals we can just throw in the oven after work, instead of cooking all three meals every single day. Maybe we could find new ways to cook vegetables that are more palatable- for me this has made the biggest change. Or we can say no to just one treat a day, then the next week say no two treats.
You’re not destined to fail in your trouble areas. Instead of making a blanket statement about your habits, break them down into smaller pieces and think about which areas are preventing you from becoming consistent.
Once you know the specific parts of the process that hold you back, you can begin to develop a solution to solve that problem.
Never Miss Twice
Skipping a work out day, eating too much on occasion, splurging on a new dress every once in a while doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human. What separates humans, who meet their goals from those who don’t is getting back on track. I find the “never miss twice” mindset to be key. You can survive one setback, but it’s difficult to get back on track after two.
Make Small Improvements Everyday
Like we discussed, one set back is not going to make or break you. But if you can make small steady improvements, over time they will become huge. I like this post that talks about a bicycle coach and how he turned his team from the biggest losers in the country to Olympic winners just with small steady improvements.
Reward Consistency Over Performance
Remember, it’s consistency over performance that will make the biggest difference. There is a psychological reason for this. If you have a calendar that you can hang on your wall, everyday you do a task then mark that day off. See how you feel after a couple of weeks of seeing those marks add up and see how easy it is to keep going.
Stop Procrastinating
For me, the biggest reason for procrastinating is fear of failure. Sometimes it’s that I don’t have enough time and sometimes it’s because I made the goal so long ago that it creates a psychological barrier that just makes it seem too hard.
So for large goals, I try to find a two to five minute task to get me closer to that goal. Instead of going to the gym, my first task is to just put on my exercise clothes. Instead of clean the house, my first task is to get out my cleaning supplies. This makes the first two to five minutes of any task easy, instead of overwhelming. The point here is not to accomplish something, it’s simply to show up. The more you able to make a habit of just showing up, the more likely you are to do the things that follow. And instead of focusing on how hard or long something is, you’re just focused on showing up and becoming a person who doesn’t miss that thing.
Instant Gratification Quotes
In Conclusion
No matter how big or distance your new year goals might seem, they are possible. Finding small actionable steps makes all the difference. Feel free to leave a comment with your goals or the steps you’ll be taking to reach them! Good luck and Happy New Year!
