Do I know how to lighten up? It’s a fact, no one has ever accused me of being too fun or too light. Unfortunately, even my humor, which people laugh at because it’s completely ridiculous, is usually completely serious.
Unfortunately, I have no advice for this, no words of wisdom. People tell me all the time, “lighten up, it’s no big deal!” I’ve read lots of books, done yoga, got a funny boyfriend and friends, but nothing seems to be permanent. It’s something I’m interested in accomplishing, but I fall short every time.
I know my life would be a lot easier, if I wouldn’t concentrate so much on not failing, finding purpose in every situation or just relax. But I’ve never been able to accept that some things just happen. Ever since I was kid, I had to find meaning in everything and everything had to be just so. I wouldn’t rest until it was.
Both a Blessing and a Curse
I started this post thinking I would write about how I need to change, do better because ‘I’ve seen the light’. But in some ways, I appreciate these qualities in myself. No one else does, in fact it strains most of my relationships. But at the end of the day, I can take pride in what I’ve accomplished for that day and that matters a lot to me. I need to tone it down a bit because I know it’s not always healthy, but neither is not accepting that it’s just the way I am.
So why am I talking about it, if I don’t have the answers? Why didn’t I find a different quote? Well, I like to reach out to those who feel the same, if there is any. I want to form a club with the darker colors and tell them it’s ok to not be bright. It takes all kinds of shades and colors to make a beautiful painting.
If the world was full of light, no one would be able to sleep, it would never rain and plants wouldn’t grow, the sun would bleach out all of the color, and our eyes would hurt.
Be Your Own Light
You’re life will be bleak, if you don’t learn to accept yourself. If you’re always trying to add new colors, it’s just going to turn out grey. If you try to fit in a box that’s too big then it will be overwhelming. If you try to fit in a box too small then it will be claustrophobic. Make your own box and don’t let anyone tell you how to decorate it.
In my experience, once I was able to accept that I wasn’t going to be like everyone else, but I still had value to give, I was able to ‘lighten up’ in my own way. It’s still difficult in some ways because I’m always coming across people who don’t approve and that can make life messy, but I’m happier being me. I’m more confident and bold, and that would have never happened in my life of trying to be someone else.
Go forth and be your own light. Your future self will thank you for it.